So if I was to say “I don’t know anything about politics”, technically that’s a big fat porky pie because I do know something: I know that I don’t know anything about it. And that’s something, right?

For Assignment 2 of my Online Journalism module I’ve been put in the Elections Team. (Stop laughing.) Considering I don’t know my constituencies from my Camerons, I think I’m at a slight disadvantage.

My task this week is to desperately swat up on politics so no one reads my blog and thinks: your village called, they want their idiot back.

PS. This is my election twitter list.

Whilst searching for the search I found this guy. To sum the whole situation up it would appear that “Bruce” is the BBC spider that will answer ANY of my internet questions if I “ask him”. First question: Why am I talking to a cartoon spider? Only joking I didn’t really ask that. First question: Who the heck named this spider Bruce? (Just another joke, I didn’t ask that. I’m a kidder.)

I’m guessing the BBC think that by personifying their search engine with an incy wincy spider the kids are going to lose their shit over it and ask so many internet questions their fingers start breaking off. (“Hey mum I don’t want to watch TV after school… I just want to get straight on the BBC website and ask Bruce an internet question!” etc.)

I don’t particularly have a problem with Bruce himself. He’s doing his thing, it’s cool. But, and I’d obviously never actually ask the question master himself – what exactly does a spider know about anything other than web building and making people run away? Surely the BBC could have chosen an animal better known for it’s internet answers? Or perhaps even a different Bruce?

For example, Bruce Willis or the absolute madhead who has decided to make a hat out of doughnuts. He looks like the kind of guy that’s answered a few questions in his time. (“What have you got on your head? Are you sure about it?”)

Anyway, despite my reservations, Bruce (SpiderBruce not insane hat Bruce) has taught me all I need to know about conducting a refined internet search. Example: “Ask Bruce” +BBC +spider -doughnuthat.

Have a spider.

This is particularly annoying if it’s only me and Cat playing and I make a snake noise (as a joke) and then I’m left playing Top Trumps by myself.

Personally I’ve narrowed my biggest fear down to two things; both fears only come out at night and are equally irrational.

Firstly, I have to make a cacoon at the end of the duvet to tuck my feet into. This is not because I’m scared of the cold, it’s because I’m petrified of somebody (or a carpet shark) grabbing my feet from outside of the bed.

Secondly, I’m afraid of seeing an asteroid. I know that this must sound absurd however I’m pretty sure that if you presented an arachnophobe with a spider and an asteroid, they are more likely to run from the latter.

I like stars. They’re nice. They twinkle and you can make patterns out of them etc however if I’m outside and I’m looking at a star and I all of a sudden think that maybe that star might be moving a little bit – instead of thinking “oh, airplane”, I think “GET THE HELL INSIDE IT’S AN ASTEROID”. As I mentioned earlier, I’m aware of how irrational this fear is. (However my friend Sophie is genuinely scared of tupperwear so I don’t feel too bad about it.)

Anyway, onto my point: When I was on my gap year in Thailand my fears came true and I saw a ball of fire hurtling towards the Earth. Not really, it was a sky lantern… nonetheless I’m sure you can imagine the look on my face at the time. (Something like this :-O )

If you’re not aware of what a sky lantern is, aside from looking like a terrifying ball of fire, it’s an airborne lantern made out of rice paper. I’m not a scientist, however my understanding is that a specific part of the lantern gets set on fire, thus heating the air trapped inside and whooshing it into the sky.

It’s quite common in Asia apparently and people usually write a message inside the lantern and then all their dreams come true. (And you’re calling ME irrational)

After bumbling around the net (yes bumbling, I’m too clumsy to “surf”; I bumble) I found this.

Earth Hour is a campaign to get everyone around the world to turn their lights off at 8:30pm on 27 March. Last year they managed to get hundreds of millions of people to switch off and this year they’re aiming for more.

I think the lantern game is designed for children (the part where it says “kids” kind of directed me to that conclusion), but it’s kept me occupied for atleast twenty minutes despite the fact that I’m twenty-years-old and make my own bed (complete with cacoon).

We’ve organised a little campaign for Earth Hour ourselves this year which I’m planning on writing about in more depth once we’ve established the idea a bit more- however I think the whole “make a lantern to show your support” is a lovely idea and had to blog about it.

This way the big boys at Earth Hour get to see who is participating from around the world and I think the concept is a lot more refreshing than simply filling in a boring standard survey to show your support.

Unless ofcourse you’re terrified of lanterns, in which case, you’re ridiculous.

More about our Snap In The Dark! campaign later…

(And Cat, don’t click here.)

Am I right in saying that the underlying/quite blatant message is… If you don’t do your bit to save the environment then baby polar bears die?

That’s a bit strong isn’t it!? Having said that I am addicted to saving the little thing.

This is like one of those “teaching” games that my mother used to make me play with that tricks you into learning.

I’ll be honest, I wish I had the brain capacity to absorb the technical information involved, to understand the plate tectonics and the anthropogenics (don’t worry, I looked those terms up) – however my mind is far too cluttered to make sense of such things.

So when I’m at the pub on a Tuesday night and my dear friends from back home have consumed enough red wine to convince themselves that they read The Observer and not The Sun, I tend to sit the “intellectual” conversation topics out. I think they’re fairly used to subbing me off the pitch when the conversation turns topical, and I’ll be honest I’m OK with sitting on the bench watching from the sidelines. I can’t compete with the bio-chemistry undergrad striker, or the left mid fielder who’s studying maths at Southampton. However now my luck has changed. As it would appear, like most things, there is “an app for that“.

My good friend Julian has offered to provide me with his iPhone… So I’ll be testing that little Climate-Change-Conversation-Life-Saver out, and blogging it ofcourse, very soon!

But in the mean time, whilst I’m waiting for people to talk to me, I’ve been getting snap-happy at The Strictly Fairtrade Tea Dance. I’ve added my lovely pictures to a group pool on the Fairtrade Fortnight’s flickr here.

http://www.love-eco.co.uk/

This quirky little site has everything from delicate little notebooks to chunky belts recycled from tyres. There’s a Big Ethical Winter sale on at the minute so get involved!

http://www.allthingsgreen.net/

The Fair Trade jewellery and Organic Beauty Packs make this site well worth a click.

http://www.greenshop.co.uk/

All things sustainable… including the price tag.

http://www.greenerbynature.co.uk/

Making an alternative and conscientious choice couldn’t be easier with this website that offers locally made, fair trade, organic and recycled items.

http://www.greenfairygodmother.co.uk/

If you can think of something that this GreenFairyGodmother doesn’t have then I’d like to know. Massive collection of all things eco and a massive way to treat yourself and feel good too!

Happy clicking kids!

You can find me rubbing words together to make meaning here: http://twitter.com/thathannagirl

And practicing blogging techniques here: http://hannalee.posterous.com/

And stringing together some more thought out words here: http://www.birminghamrecycled.co.uk/

(If you are wondering how I manage to remember all of these username/passwords it’s ok I’ve got them written down)